


If You Have Eyes... or Ears...

by CrazyBucket



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Clint Is a Good Bro, F/F, Fluff, Just freaking call her, Maria babbling about Natasha, Rhodes is a good bro, Someone help these two idiots, sort of fluff i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 00:59:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7487133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyBucket/pseuds/CrazyBucket
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maria goes on a date wil Col. Rhodes, but can't stop talking about a certain readhead. Will she build up the courage to do something about it?</p><p>It's finished people!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Maria & Rhodes

Tony did it. Again. 

It was nearly inconceivable how Tony managed to make her agree to this date. First, he set her up with Rhodes, believing that somehow the military background made them meant to be. She didn’t have anything against him per se, he was a great colleague and friend, she just wasn’t sure if she wanted to date him. There was nothing there besides camaraderie, and she was pretty sure the man felt the same way, but she figured since both are single, why not give it a try, right? And that's why she was currently having a romantic dinner with the colonel.

“And then I said ‘boom!’ are you looking for this?” He said, with a proud face.

Maria has heard this story a few times by now, but opted to humor him and laughed.

“This story always kills it!” He added.

Maria’s face suddenly looked pensive.“Wait, wasn’t this mission the one Romanoff took down like, ten men with her hands literally tied?”

“Yeah, I guess. She’s good I’ll tell you. But she’s no War Machine.” He blinked at her.

“I really enjoy the fluidity of her movements, she’s so delicate but at the same time so fierce.” She said, slightly ignoring Rhode’s comment.

“She sure is. But forget about Widow, would you like some dessert?”

“Yes, of course.” She grabs a menu. “What do we have here…”

“I hear that the Pana Cotta here is amazing. We could share if you’d like.”

Maria laughs. “That would absolutely not happen if Natasha was here. I swear, for someone her size, she eats a lot.” Rhodes eyes her. “But sure, let’s share one, and see how amazing it is by ourselves.”

They order the dessert, and the conversation shifts to hobbies. Rhodes tells Maria about his car miniature collection and how he tried and failed to succeed as a collectibles trader, since he wanted to keep everything he got. Maria told him how she enjoyed sketching even though others told her (and she partially agrees) that she was terrible at it. Oddly enough, both enjoyed cooking and the feeling of normalcy it provides:

“Now that I know you also appreciate the culinary arts, we should get together and cook someday.” Rhodey proposes.

“Yeah, it’s not a bad idea!” Maria offers.

“I can make a terrific lasagna, from scratch” He smirks. “It will blow your mind.”

“Oh sir, I can assure you my homemade lasagna is pretty difficult to beat.” She raises her eyebrows. “Unlike my sketches, they look absolutely perfect.”

“A lasagna made of mud can look perfect Maria. The important part is what it tastes like, and I assure you mine is just unprecedented.”

“Maybe we could make it a competition. Invite the others to try and vote for the best one then.” She sets her glass down. “However I don’t want to hurt your feelings when you are crushed.”

“Oh I can guarantee I won’t be the one crushed.” He smiles.

“Natasha tells me my lasagna is the best thing she ever tasted.”

“And that’s the only opinion that matters, right?” Rhodes asks in more of a caring tone with an amused smile than an accusative one.

“Huh?”

“Nevermind. Tell me more about yourself Maria.”

And they keep talking, and getting exceedingly excited about sharing stories from the military and how some ops just ended well due to a keen sense of improvisation not at all taught during military school, but somehow Maria was always able to bring Natasha into the conversation, sometimes even being extremely creative doing so. Now Rhodes knew Natasha’s favorite weapon, how she pouts when she is bored, that she was actually a leftie but the Red Room forced her to be ambidextrous, that she enjoys knitting but will deny if anyone asks among other things

They leave the restaurant, and Rhodes accompanies Maria to her home, making light conversation all the way over. When they get to her building, the colonel stops, positions himself in front of her and starts to talk:

“You know Maria, when Tony set us up I had no idea what to expect. I mean I’ve always seen you as a friend, and to be honest there was no spark, but I thought, what the hell? You are beautiful and intelligent and I’m single, so why not?” Hill is looking directly into his eyes. “And I have to say I had a really nice time talking to you, but” He takes her hand. “But it couldn't be more clear to me, or to anyone who has eyes… or ears really, that you are in love with Romanoff”.

“What? No, I mean…”

“I’m not finished. This evening just corroborated what I felt about you before, and as a friend, I must tell you to go for your girl, Hill.”

“I’m not sure I follow.”

“You bring Natasha to every possible piece of conversation, and you always do so with a glint in your eyes. And it is my duty, as your superior officer and as your friend, to make you do something about it.”

“Oh my God, Rhodes, I must’ve been a terrible date, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize…”

“There’s nothing to apologize for. It was a nice evening nonetheless.” There’s a brief pause. “Just think about what I said.” He smiles and turns to leave.

“Do you think I have a chance?” Maria asks.

Rhodes turns to face her. “I don’t know Romanoff nearly as well as you do, but there’s only way to be sure: ask her.”

“And if she refuses?”

“Then I’ll be there to comfort you or to beat some sense into that spy, whatever the case may be”

Maria smiles at him.

“I hope we do this again, Rhodes. Thank you, you are a great friend.”

“I hope so too” He turns to leave once again, then stops. “And Maria?”

“Yeah”

“Call her”


	2. Natasha & Clint

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And chapter 2 is on!! Hope you enjoy!

Natasha and Clint are at her place watching cartoons, eating pizza and a vast array of junk food, so, in a way a typical friday night when there was no one trying to destroy Earth or just overall causing chaos. It was almost a tradition by now, and everytime Clint didn’t go back home they would do this, and sometimes they would even keep it up at his farm, along with his children.

Around the third episode of Garfield, Clint decides to make conversation:

“So, how are things?”

“What do you mean?” Natasha asks, biting a piece of pizza and not even turning her eyesight from the tv.

“What do you mean what do I mean? I’m just asking how your life is going.”

“Clint, we work together and you are my best friend, you know exactly how my life is going.” She answers, unamused.

“So, you are just confirming you were too much of a chicken shit to ask Maria out, once again?”

“I don’t know what you are talking about. We are just friends.”

“Really? Are you going for that speech again? Unbelievable.” Clint retorts, sounding pretty annoyed.

“I just don’t know why you want so much for this Maria thing to happen.”

“Honestly, I just want you two to stop being so fucking blind really.” He turns to Nat, who is still facing the TV. “Are you seriously telling me you have no feelings whatsoever for her?” Natasha shrugs. “Really??? Then why you drop every single thing you are doing when she calls you?”

“Humm… because she is my boss?”

“Nice try, but now that she works for Stark and you are an Avenger, that couldn't be more far from the truth. And you also do it off duty, so try again.”

“As I said she’s a friend.”

“No, Nat, I’m your friend. You know how I know this? Because if I call you itsy bitsy spider, you will probably hit me. Do you do that do Maria? No you don’t. Also because I see you more like a sister than I do my own sisters, and because I really fucking want you to take that head out of your ass and try to be happy with someone I, and everyone with the dimmest eyesight, can see you like.”

“That was a terrible speech.” She looks at him. “But I guess I can see where you are going with this.” They smile at each other.

“So, are you going to do it?”

“I don’t know Clint… I mean we have a lot of friends in common, you know? And if it doesn’t work out? We will have to see each other everyday…”

“But what if it does work out? Huh?”

“I’m a very difficult person to deal with.”

“Oh, I know that, but Maria really doesn’t seem to mind. Even when you break into her place and eats all her food. Fuck, she even makes more stuff for you. My friend that is luv.” He makes a heart with his hands.

Natasha thinks about it a little while.

“So, what am I supposed to do now?”

“Just ask her out. As simple as that.”

“Easy for you to say, you’ve already got the girl.”

“And I assure you when I asked her out I had a lot less indication my feelings were reciprocated.”

“Well, I guess I’ll just…” Her cell phone starts to ring. “Oh my God, it’s Maria.” She looks at Clint with a hint of panic in her eyes.

“Look at that, there’s your chance.” He says, amused. “Just answer it.”

Natasha does as she was told. “Maria?” There’s no answer from the other side. “Maria? Can you hear me? Are you OK?” And she just hears someone hang up.

“Well, that was weird. Do you think something is happening?”

“I don’t know, and I’m pretty sure Maria can handle herself, but maybe just as a precaution you should call back?”

“Yeah, you are right.”

Meanwhile, at the residence of one Miss Maria Hill, the commander is panicking. In a desperate measure, she calls Rhodes.

“Rhodes I fucked it up.”

“What?” He asks with a tired voice. “Maria, is everything alright?”

“No, everything is a freaking mess. I finally summed up the courage to call Nat, and when she answers what do I do? I just stay mute, breathing into my phone like some crazy serial killer.” Maria is pacing frenetically in her living room. “I’m such an idiot, and this is all your fault.”

“How is this my fault??”

“I was blissfully unaware of these feelings before, but since you told me all I can think about is this. All my bullshit daydreams now have a face and it’s always her. Do you have any idea how hard it was to work with her this week?”

“Ok, that’s clearly not my fault, but considering your state of distress, I’ll give you a pass.”

“Oh shit.”

“What?”

“She’s calling me”

“Well, she must be worried after your little stunt on the phone earlier”

“What do I do?”

“You could answer it?”

“What a stupid idea, Rhodes. I don’t even know what I still talk to you.”

He laughs. “Seriously. Maria, just answer and get over with it.”

“Too late, it’s not ringing anymore.”

“Call her then. You need to at least explain the first call. And it would be nice for you to do it before she assembles the other Avengers to come look for you.”

“You are right. I have no way out of this. What do I tell her?”

“Maybe that you are auditioning to play the unabomber in theater?”

“That doesn't even make sense, he sent letters, not creepy calls.”

“You can always innovate, I guess?”

“You are no help to me. I gotta go before she calls me again.” There’s a brief silence. “And Rhodes?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

“Anytime, and good luck.”

Maria hangs up on Rhodes and proceeds to call Natasha.

Back at Nat’s place, after Maria didn’t answer Natasha was convinced something wrong was happening and started to call mutuals to try to find Maria. As she is about to call Cap and start a search, her phone rings.

“Clint, it’s her! It's Maria” Natasha says, excitedly.

“Well answer and put it on speaker, so I can help if needed.”

So she answers the phone and presses the speaker button.

“Maria? Are you alright? What happened? Do you need help?” The spy asks really fast.

“Oh, no Nat, I’m alright.”

“Are you sure? Because I just got a call from you and it sounded like…”

Maria interrupts.

“Yeah I sort of panicked.” She clears her throat. “I’m sorry about that.”

“Panicked? Why?”

“It’s embarrassing, can you just forget about it, please?”

“Ok, no problem, as long as you are alright, I’m cool.”

“You see, the thing is I’m not exactly alright.”

“I knew it” Natasha interjects.

“But not for the reasons you are probably imagining.”

“Ok…”

“The thing is I recently realized I have feelings.”

“It’s always nice to know you are not a cyborg, Maria.” Nat laughs.

Maria ignores the terrible joke, afraid she will lose her courage if she changes subjects.

“For you.” It sounded low, almost a whisper.

“What?”

“So, I was wondering if I’d like to go out with me someday? If you don’t it’s alright I don’t want to make you uncomfortable with anything I mean…”

“I’d love to.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really.”

Maria opens a huge smile, and so does Natasha.

“Awwww thats so cute! She hung up on you before because she was nervous!” Clint says in a funny mocking voice. “I told you she was into it too.”

Natasha quickly turns the speaker off.

“Is that Clint? Was he hearing everything?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that.” Nat replies while punching Clint on his arm. “I forgot to turn it off.”

“I guess the cat is out of the bag now, huh?”

“Definitely. But I’m glad it is.”

“Me too. Are you free tomorrow night?” Maria tries to remain casual. “There’s this really nice restaurant near my place that I think you’d like.”

“Yes, I’m free. Meet you around eight?”

“It’s a date! I’ll call you tomorrow with all the info.”

“I can’t wait.” Both women blush.

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

As soon as nat sets her phone down, Clint starts to whistle.

“So, I believe one itsy bitsy spider has a date, am I correct?”

“Shut up Clint.”

“You are just mad because I called it.”

“Whatever.”

It doesn't go unnoticed to Clint that despite calling her by that nickname she didn’t even try to hit him, probably way too distracted by her soon to be date. Clint finds it adorable, and takes up as mission she how far he can push her while she is in this state of bliss. (Unfortunately for him he doesn't get very far).

Later that evening, Rhodes wakes up from his sleep only to see a message from Maria, which simply read “I did it” followed by what seemed like a hundred exclamation points. He smiles to his phone and lets out a “That’s my girl!” and goes back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always hugely appreciated!


	3. Maria & Natasha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And they finally go out. :)

On the next day, after talking to Maria and realizing that the place she picked for their date was very high-end, Natasha immediately began to panic, taking all her evening dresses out of her wardrobe and laying them on her bed, evaluating which one would be better. Since she could not make an honest decision for the life of her, she called Clint to have a second opinion.

“Doesn’t this one make me look like thug?” Natasha asks, wearing a tight red dress with a cleavage that made her boobs almost jump out.

“What? Of course not. Do you even know what thug means?”

“I don’t know, I feel a weird ‘I run a brothel’ vibe when I’m wearing it.”

“Unless is a very sophisticated whorehouse, I doubt it.” He gives her another once over. “But maybe you should pick something else? I read that the ideal ratio of skin showing on a first date is 40%.”  
“Yeah, I think you are right.” She turns to choose another one, finally processing everything he said. “Wait, where the hell did you read that?”

“Cosmo.”

“Cosmo?”

“Yeah.”

“Do I even want to know?”

“No, not really. It’s all on Laura.”

“I’m sure it is.” She puts on another dress, this time black. It was simple, not too long, with a cleavage but not too revealing and somehow it only accentuated her figure. She was surprisingly pleased with it. “What about this one?”

“Ma’am, I believe we have a winner.” Clint answers.

“Do I look hot?”

“Ok, Nat… remember that whole terrible speech I gave about you being a sister to me?” She nods. “That makes it impossible for me to ever see you in any way attractive. Beautiful? Sure. Stunning? No problem. Attractive? Ain’t gonna happen.”

Natasha laughs at him and looks at herself once again. She looks good.

With a smirk, she turns to Clint and says in a husky voice. “Good thing you not finding me attractive is not going to stop me from being attractive.” 

“Urgh.” He throws himself to the bed in defeat.

She ignores him as she sees her reflection once again and a smile comes to her lips. “This night is going to be amazing.”

Clint nods, and although he never really understood how easily Nat could go from insecure mess to most self confident being in all galaxy, he knew his role there was to be supportive. “Go get her, tigress.”

Nat throws a pillow on Clint and carries on, managing to be perfectly ready at the exact time Maria comes to pick her up.

As Nat is descending the front steps of her building, she sees Maria next to a taxi, wearing a tux, no tie and in high heels, with light or maybe nonexistent makeup and it takes all her spy training not to just drool over her. However, she’s sure she’s making a face, but as she sees that Maria has the same semblant she relaxes a little.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“You look amazing” Natasha says.

“So so you.” Maria smiles. “Should we go?”

“Yeah, definitely.” Nat enters the car and before leaving she catches a glance of Clint, standing on her balcony giving her thumbs up.

At the restaurant, they order wine whilst waiting for the food to arrive. It was one of those new posh restaurants where they offered seasonal tasting menus, based on local products. Maria quickly notices that she is basically doing all the talking and Nat is just staring at her. Getting a bit uneasy, Maria opts to address it:

“Is everything ok?”

“Everything is perfect, Maria.” Natasha reaches for Maria’s hand and smiles. “I’m just wondering how it took so long for us to do this.”

“Yeah tell me about it. I had to make Rhodes suffer through a horrible date with me to finally see it.”

“Rhodes huh? Should I be worried?”

“Oh no, he’s Team Natasha for sure. No reason to worry.”

“Good to know.” She smiles. “So, is this your favorite restaurant?”

“Honestly it is my first time here. Always wanted to come, just couldn’t find the right reason to.” Maria answers and once again is met with a smile.

“Great. I would hate to have our first date on a place you used to go with some loser ex.” The redhead jokes.

“Shit. Should I cancel my plans for the next date then?”

It doesn’t go unnoticed by the spy that Maria is already playing on the possibility of another date, but she doesn’t read too much into it and goes along with the joke. “Yes. I’m afraid you will have to get creative, Mia.”

“Good thing I love a challenge, then.” They look at each other. The air is so thick it is hard to believe that the Hulk would be able to smash it, but before the talk goes any further the waiter comes with their first course.

More or less six courses after (It was a tasting menu, after all), they are still conversing. It appeared as they could never really run out of things to talk, both enjoying the easiness between each other.

“Humm…favorite dessert?” Natasha asks.

“Devil’s Food Cake. You?

“Ptichie Moloko. It’s a Russian…”

“Yeah I know what it is.” Maria interrupts. “And I can make a mean one.”

“No way. How do you even know that?”

“Well, as you know I was raised by my dad, who usually resorted to booze to forget his problems.” Nat tenses. “No, it’s ok, it’s been a long time.” Maria smiles. “So, more often than not I found myself hanging out with my neighbors, who happened to own an eastern European bakery. They are pretty common in Chicago.” Nat raises her eyebrow in surprise. “So, after school I usually went to their bakery to help out and in the process I pretty much learned how to cook.”

“That seems nice.”

“It was, actually. I still consider them to be more like family than my own.” She looks at the shorter woman. “And that’s why I can make a great Ptichie Moloko.” Maria looks nervous for a second. “If you want, after we are finished here I could cook it for you. My place is pretty near.”

“Oh, Mia, already inviting me to your place? On our first date?” Nat answers with a playful tone.

“Well, it’s not like you haven’t been there before like, a thousand times.” The redhead agrees. “And I know that there’s no end to your eating capacity, so I figured it seemed fit”

Natasha laughs. “Yes, I’d love to”

After they finish their meal they take a cab back to Maria’s place and go straight to the kitchen. Maria starts to make the base cream, whilst Nat is watching her, sitting on a kitchen counter and eventually handing something over to the brunette.

“I’m really starting to believe you actually know how to do this.”

Maria looks at her, momentarily distracted by her crossed legs. “I can’t not believe you doubt me, woman.” She distributes the cream evenly on a baking dish and puts it on the refrigerator. As she turns, she picks the bowl and the whisk to place it in the sink, but before doing that she picks some remaining cream spreads on Natasha’s cheek with her finger “Wait and see, redhead”

“I can’t believe you just did this.” She grabs the bowl.

“If you do that, you will not get dessert, young lady.” Maria replies mischievously, taking a defensive position.

“I’ll try my luck.” Natasha comes closer and spreads a lot more cream on Maria’s face.

“Oh, it is on!” 

They start fighting for the bowl and Maria ends up pinning Nat on the counter. There’s a moment of silence, and Natasha starts to move her head closer to Maria, who freezes. Nat then frees her hands and starts to wipe the cream off of Maria with a towel and tentatively gives her a peck on the lips. Maria almost instinctively grabs Nat’s head and deepens the kiss. After a few moments they slowly part and look at each other. Maria grins, and making use of Natasha’s distraction takes a bit of cream and applies it on her face, more specifically her lips. Nat gasps in surprise.

“We are playing dirty now, aren’t we?”

“No, I was just getting even.” Natasha pulls her head closer. “It was fair.”

“Well, it is only fair if you clean it now, then”

“Fair is fair.” Maria says before closing the distance.

Later, they enjoy the dessert which took a lot longer than usual to finish, while enjoying a nice conversation. Natasha does not go home that night, and now no longer believes that Maria’s lasagna is the best thing she has ever tasted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take your own conclusion about that the new best thing Natasha has ever tasted is! hahaha
> 
> Comments and kudos are hugely appreciated.

**Author's Note:**

> I was thinking about doing this a three part thing. Thoughts?
> 
> And thanks for reading!


End file.
